I’m Easy

Well, not THAT kind of easy … although, in my 20’s… sorry, I digress.  Sigh…

Okay, for a long time now I have been noticing that we reward ‘all that is difficult’.

Like, “I studied hard for that exam” and, “It was a rough week” and, “I pulled an all nighter to get this project together for my client”. I am guilty of this. I have patted myself on the back many times for being able to push myself to ‘do the impossible’. I have loved the idea of always being busy – even though I complain about it. I have rewarded myself with the false belief that because I push myself, I must be doing something important.

But, the problem is, not only don’t I acknowledge my real skills because they come easy, I try to make them seem difficult because I have erroneously thought that it has more ‘honor’. For the record, I’m a great mom, friend, coach, writer, speaker, creative partner, strategic thinker, intuitive, leader, project manager and celebrationist (not sure if that is a word, but that is very much ‘me’).   I am going to smile bright when I am in these activities because in truth, they come easy and joyfully for me. No need to make them seem tougher than they really are.

I, in ego driven moments, like to list my ‘story’. Single mom of 3 kids, no family in the city, self employed, uncollectable arrears blah, blah, blah. Yuck. It’s not to get anyone to feel sorry for me really, it’s for people to see how HARD I work and that it has all come together for me from my sheer force. Ugh! Is that egomaniacal or what??

Now I realize that when I get attracted to speaking about how ‘hard’ things are for me, I am only setting myself up for the future conversation of how I overcame it. I always know I will overcome so that is guaranteed. I am just setting up a conversation to make myself look good.

The truth is, things come together for me pretty easily – they always kinda have. God has always been good to me. I have about a gazillion friends and family members that love me and believe in me. They may not always understand or agree with my methodology, but they definitely cheer me on and support me.

Magical introductions, opportunities that seemingly drop from the sky and incredible people who show up wanting to help me are DAILY occurrences for me. Yes. Daily.

I am in truth, the luckiest person I know.

So, if you hear me singing any ‘country’ song about my broken truck and lost dog, flick me on the forehead, activate my third eye for me and remind me that the rumours are true… I am Easy.

 

 

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Farhana DhallaFarhana Dhalla is the ultimate ‘go to’ person for shifting perspective. Her philosophy of seeing that everything is done FOR you versus to you is the paradigm shift that helps people unlock the gifts of their situation and liberate them into living more enriching lives. Along with being a mom to 3 expressive children, she is an Enlightened Divorce Coach, Speaker and Author of the #1 International Best Selling Book Thank You for Leaving Me.

Comments

  1. Awesome word, Farhana! This is what I seek … to be easy. It is my belief that if one is in the centre of their “bliss”, it will be easy … so I seek this.
    Thank you!
    Linda

    • Me too Linda… I really believe that we have been conditioned to applaud difficultly. I think bliss, ease and flow are all part of being in Union so THAT is what i am focusing on now. See you on Easy Street ;-)

  2. Sooooooo true my “easy” friend! You have hit the nail on the head. We often feel that things have to be hard to be appreciated and ignore the stuff that just comes our way. I, for one, am always waiting for the other shoe to drop when “good” things happen. We are wired all wrong (by our own doing, I don’t believe we were born that way!) to only feel that we deserve things after we’ve busted our butts and moved mountains to make it happen.

    I am going to think all day long (and longer!) about your blog and I hope that you find time in your “easy” life to write more of what is naturally inside your head. You have so much to share and it’s so genuine and full of honesty, I hope to read more of it – you know while I enjoy my EASY year of minimal work and liivng on the beach (see… already your words have allowed me to appreciate the “easy” in my life!).
    MWAH!!
    Salima

    • Salima, I am with you chick! And you know what has come to my mind so many times since your move to sand and surf? “And a child shall lead the way”. Your beautiful boy fast tracked you to Easy Street. You are helping us all shift to a mind set of how doing the right thing and doing the amazingly awesome thing can go hand in hand. Big fat smooches, F

  3. Thank You, Farhana. A great post. Filled with wisdom. That makes sense. And you are right. Everything doesn’t have to be difficult … It could be easy … I hope …

    But as you yourself mention. Some of us are trained in thinking that going the hard way gives better rewards then doing it the easy way. Or by “taking short cuts”, as it also is called …

    I will take your word and try to think of things differently … But, you know … Reprogramming is not easy … Always ;-)

    • Terje, I think lets both of us do a total and complete paradigm shift and BELIEVE that reprogramming is really not too hard. We have all heard of people who quit smoking ‘just like that’ so there has to be a switch that we can flick that makes reprogramming for our highest intention easy. I’m going to give it a shot…

  4. Hey Farhana, I enjoyed this post. You know how to get in the flow where life becomes full of delightful synchronicities and magical connections. Life is easy when you are there. And when you are not, and your truck breaks down and your dog runs away and and … Well, as you said, appreciating feels a whole lot better than complaining, so make peace with it and get back your easy.

    • Thanks for your comments Miriam… you know, I discovered that I am usually in ‘easy’ mode except i hadn’t let it hold any true value. Well, that thinking has been flushed and now I am going to BE EASY out loud! Much loving to you lovely one…F

  5. OMG you wrote that for me! That is my story and I now strive be with the easy path of life cus it is there everyday. We met thru Warrior Sage specifically the Goddess group. We have had lovely easy dyads and this blog is just what I needed. Thank you sister!

    • Thank you Glenda my Goddess Sister… now we shall both step gracefully into ease and honor all that is already in flow for us. That which has been waiting for us to just appreciate it’s lovely existence. Thanks for being in touch Glenda. Much love xxF

  6. Hi Farhana,

    You are awesome. It is so true how we need to dramatize the story almost to fit in – everyone has struggles, I guess I need them too or I won’t belong.

    I feel so blessed to have met you. My blog today was on Finding Inner Peace. I was inspired to write it as I just presented a talk at a conference called “Executive women having it all”. Having it all is finding inner peace. Having it all for me is a state of mind as true contentment comes from knowing who I am and being grateful for all of my blessings.

    Take good care and hugs.
    Gerrianne

    • Well said Gerrianne… that is where true contentment comes from… and inevitable bliss.
      I am so pleased to have met you… i love the powerhouse and hearthouse that you are.

  7. Scott Walleeeen says:

    “We admire complexity, but we reward simplicity.” I heard that from a collegue, Ben Huh, the creator of the Cheezburger.com network, icanhascheezburger.com, you know, the guy that brought us LOLcats and all that, it’s the largest entertainment enterprise on the web today. He told me that when he learned to simplify and to get out his own “drive to succeed” way, that his success started to “just happen”.

    I was working with a guy on an exec staff, he was a VP of Operations, who I swear beat the holy bajeebers out of his keyboard every day banging away emails, reports, notes, anything to SOUND and look busy. It was a geeky fun computer game company so I had a contest who could most closely guess the amount of BTUs he put out during one of his writing tsunamis. He eventually was let go, because the poor bloke never really got anything done, was always behind on some deadline and created a cult of the drama queen in his group. His “energy” was agonizingly not “easy”.

    Let’s go for a drive on Easy Street, Farhana, it’s the path miracles love to happen on.

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