Nomination for what???
Apparently I had been nominated for a FIERCE Woman Award. I was touched that the nomination was in the category most meaningful for me: FIERCE Woman -Mom Extraordinaire.
A warm feeling gushed over me and I was surprised by the amount of joy I felt with the nomination. My self worth is not based on accolades and I encourage others to release the need for external gratification but, I was aware that this particular nomination was hitting a sweet spot for me.
As a single mom of 3 kids and entrepreneur, I am well aware of my deficiencies – the guilt over working 15 hr days, the grouchy mama moments, the math homework that stumps me, the store bought frozen dinners, the melt bead projects that lay abandoned waiting for me to iron them into lovely art…. And the list goes on…and on.
But when I received the surprise nomination, a feeling of “I’m doing a good job – even with my volumes of deficiencies” made my tense shoulders exhale a sigh of relief.
It got me thinking about all of us, doing the best we can, yet still riddled with guilt over our own perceived shortcomings. I wonder what the impact would be on our joy factor if we were to completely forgive ourselves for our errors and know that our ‘best at the time’ is exactly what our children need. How much more present and engaged we would be without the lingering scent of guilt?
I know the hamster wheel of guilt keeps me small. It makes me feel defeated rather than empowered. It makes me feel the forces are against me rather than it’s all working in divine order. I liken it to the Oreo cookie syndrome. Eat a cookie, feel okay. Eat another, feel guilty. Then in that guilt, I collapse all my boundaries in defeat, the box vanishes and appears somewhere on my hips.
So what if we had a rough moment in parenting? So what if the laundry is undone and the place looks like a cyclone hit it? Seriously – so what?
Parenting is not sainthood. In fact, it is likely the experience that would teach us how far away we are from sainthood. Parenting is about absolutely making mistakes and it is absolutely about teaching our children who they can be when they have made mistakes. Parenting is constant practice in self-forgiveness and in that, we teach our children the same.
What if, for this moment, you were to suspend all judgment on yourself for your perceived shortcomings?
Notice your body relax.
You are perfect. As is.
PS – below is the video I used for my entry…